Hellkamp

by Hellkamp

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1.
My Moods 03:36
I’m not sure how I’m supposed to say that I’m astonished at the fact that it affects me this way. Frozen starring at the clock, I hear it ticking away. Is there nothing to save me? Eyes fixed on the square, push the buttons, wired up emotions never flash inspiration, everywhere my eyes can see there’re mirrors reflecting what I don’t want to be. I want to be somebody who’s amazed - keeping it on and dreaming along, never quit, for the rest of his days - who’s still smiling at strangers, greeting his neighbours. I’m keeping an eye on not living a lie. But the more I try the less I seem to arrive at where I want to be in this life. Damn…I hate my ambitions cause the only thing I really got is my indecision. And it’s my moods that kill my muse when I sit around here all day I know there’s so much to talk about but I really got nothing to say I fold the cards that I was dealt into paper planes and watch ‘em fly away while they ballet with the wind ‘til they set out to spin, crash the ground. Then it starts all over, life deals the next round. Still no lesson learned and just more effort burnt. Ends with anger in my veins and the wrinkles of my brain are crawling in face to unveil my concerns and leave another clueless kid in return. I might break out of my prison, jump into the next cage like a jolly good felon on a pythonesque stage. And now to something completely different. It’s……My moods that kill my muse when I sit around here all day. I know there’s so much to talk about except for love i got nothing to say. So I let loose, but stay confused, riding on a wave till it collapsed in its curve. Life’s too short to worry bout not getting what you think you deserve. Like a millionaire of thoughts who’s bankrupt of words. Lesions in nerves mute the nonsense absurd shit that piles mile high in my head. Diagnosed with dementia but forgot about it. Still I’m not giving up. No, I’ll never give in, cast a smile from cheek to cheek, from my nose to my chin. Contagious it is. I’ll see you all grin. No time for hesitation. Let the party begin. It’s my moods that kill my muse when I sit around here all day. I know there’s so much to talk about except for love i got nothing to say. So I let loose, but stay confused, riding on a wave till it collapsed in its curve. Life’s too short to worry bout not getting what you think you deserve.
2.
I’m coming with the diction, unpredictable flows of non-fiction. I present to the prose. May I ripple your worlds, your fingers and your toes? Vibrate cycles of sine waves that smile out woes. Like the sands in the dunes in the desert in rows rolling cycles of sand ebbs and crests sand flows. Yes, I’d like every man on the planet to know and each women this tapestry in her memory to sew. Hope and fear and regret are our harmony’s foe. Saying no to dice throws in this global casino. Only results in discord so I logically see no point in the anxiety in the contrition taught by piety. Free flowing fertile far flung rhymes my donation to society. O I agree the strings are vibrating like tiny violin chords alive and singing notes in rhyme-ringing quarks and leptons and chorus-sung molecular spectacles of symmetrical sorts. Like the core of an apple has symmetrical seeds and the forest floor grows with symmetrical weeds and each direction I go ineluctably leads to symmetrical nectarsweetsensations that please. Like the beat of a loop with a shuffling snare or the supple soft smoothness of skin without hair or the air in your nose when the first raindrop hits. Gives the grey sky goose bumps and the warm shiver fits and shit, what about that time you first taste rhyme inside your mouth. Like now I’m thinking aloud of flavours. I savour that rhyme in waving routes. And later I’ll shout aloud at space-invaders from distant, galactical places whose races from hyper dimensional spaces enslave us and rape us and circumnavigate our places of worship where bishops profess words to aid us. Watch out for the devil. He hides in the strangest of places like under lambskins and white elastic penny laces or in the world’s most wanted unsolved mystery cases or in the revelation to a prophet. From a blazing Jesus who commands us to love. Free flowing fertile far flung rhymes my donation to society
3.
I’m not much of a nature’s son the city poisoned me. Can’t tell a tree from another but know all the names of fuel companies though I never owned a car. Isn’t that ridiculous? You ask me. You wish you could go out into the wild just on your own self sufficient survival style living all alone. I guess, you wouldn’t make it far outside of the city and into the great unknown. And so we go in between disillusion and dreams. I met a beggar on the sidewalk and he was asking me: What will you be doing, boy, when you get old? Smiling curiously, he wished me to have more to do than only wandering through my memories. And so we go in between disillusion and dreams.
4.
Struck Down 04:17
Let me spit it out. No one wants to hear the truth. No one wants to listen to preachers on the curb side spreading their gossip got brainwashed by the media, quoted on Wikipedia. Do you really care? Huh!? What’s the deal ya!? My thoughts are not meant in a sense of a doctor cause I’m just another sick kid playing rock star. Can I trick you into my dreams? Make them as real as this reality. But is it as true as it seems? No man, that’s bullshit. Ciao adhesioncontract- records make you bleed as long as you pay for or deliver what they need. We got the harmonies, the melodies and all kinds of felonies. The strategy is to stay on the beat and if you keep up with the rhythm you forget about living, living, living. Oh baby I’m struck down cause I’m feeling this ain’t right. Yeah baby I’m struck down cause I’m feeling this ain’t right. I’ve been desperately sucking for air between exclamation points. A poignant exclamation needs a hope for salvation the sensation of relation between us and the crowd. Oops, all goes wrong when the crowd gets loud. Hello Mr Listener, please lend me your ear and a couple of coins, cha-ching, I disappear before you get the chance to understand what this is. This isn’t a joke, but you’re grinning all, but remember, our fault is to smile. Just sponsor my friends or are you all endlessly greedy. For izzle of the dizzle yo Oh baby I’m struck down cause I’m feeling this ain’t right. Yeah baby I’m struck down cause I’m feeling this ain’t right. You could break my nose, but you can’t steal my soul. No, you can’t steal my soul. No.
5.
Waltz 03:09
The beat kicks right after the alarm set in with a new day to begin. A next chance to have another breakdown I let fate slide through my hand like it’s sand in an hourglass turned into an avalanche. Smell the stench from missed opportunities. My mind gets weary and ready for a mutiny but pins and needles clenching tight with decisional plight take a wrong for a right. Wrong. So I inflate my hope with a microscope like fertilizing a seed so it’s bound to grow and turns to a flower breaking through concrete like a girl dancing through bombed ruins. Imagine that scene And it seems so strange how it changed. But how I still feel the same why I can’t explain. Press stop n rewind, record it for another time. Just in case that I missed what I missed. Cross the malcontent off of my list. But you made me feel like I never missed a thing. Too bad it’s never gonna be the same with us again. Already the next ride is on the line but I jumped off the carousel and waved bye bye. There’s a devil to my left and another devil to my right. But at least there’s a monkey on my back who keeps the devils from dancing on my head. Like this… Imagine that scene. Just you and me. Wish this could last for long after we left.
6.
Pockets full of cash and them right behind. Dash for your life you cross the 9th of July in just one green light. Paranoia rides. Its tracks on your back reside. It altered your mind in the blink of an eye while fiction and facts collide. Like a curb side kiss I get squeezed by the crowd. I wanna tell you but it’s too loud. Am I the only one who’s aware of this war? All the people round here don’t seem to notice anymore. Oh, I can see all that come and go. Thought I could handle it easy but the jungle’s killing me. The city lights scream and burn into my brain like a bezerk in shopping cart riding unbuckled in the left lane. Written on the wall tells how strange it is that the poor chicks save up to get fake tits while the rich visit psychiatrists. Like a breath of fresh smog it’s biting my lungs. I’m stuck in the midst of the extremes leaves a sour taste on my tongue. Am I the only one who’s aware of this war? All the people round here don’t seem to notice anymore. Oh, I can see all that come and go. Thought I could handle it easy but the jungle’s killing me. Speeding, breaking, honking, screaming, cursing cops, no intervening, careless ditching, trash is piling. It reeks for miles while rats are smiling. Sniffing glue with cardboard dreaming, traffic jazz, the Asphalt’s steaming, No train rolling, sheer frustration, riot at the subway station, crowded streets and no escape nearly on time but still too late. Please, just let me out. Oh, I can see all that come and go. Thought I could handle it easy but the jungle’s killing me.
7.
The sun’s rising slow like a sorry entertainer. And I sleep deprived walk home past containers and cranes and shiploads of secrets that go destination labeled to places unknown. The future’s postponed like Zen in the zone. Wave’s creeping up as the wind keeps blowing. Tides rise and fall by the moons steady pull. All seems so peculiar, the foreign familiar and my thoughts get washed away. Just be here for now and wonder how. The sky looks surprised by the first rays of the day like me when I on you first my eyes laid. How the best comes around when you least expect it. I see with jejune eyes, all I shall do for now is to accept it. I get ambitious to give up when comes to finishing off like I’m satisfied with 80 percent of the result. Pretend to be an adult, but my dewy-eyed childlike vibe, longs to get satisfied. I’m never too naive to let my emotions show. It’s my strength and my weakness. Oh sweetness, so I bad I need this completeness. And when the circle comes to a close and we all realize that we just don’t know. Don’t have clue but I bask in serenity when I glance at you. Awaken the mind, leave my ego behind. Enlightenment’s striking divine. Ooh Baby, baby, baby, moments ago I got lost in the moment but now I don’t feel it anymore. Just a glimpse of the truth in front it can never settle like a vagabond. And a crowd of ideas with a crush makes it disappear. How much do I need to focus just to notice? The harder you try the more it’s hopeless. Relax. Neglect the facts. Just flow with the tact and it will show. How time gets dwarfed by giant instants. Cut off my ear to brain-paint like Vincent and lean on the emptiness like it’s the canvas of a masterpiece in progress. Ooh Baby, baby, baby, moments ago I got lost in the moment but now I don’t feel it anymore.
8.
Some time ago in the land of applications and discipline: I’m so tired of these places. The same faces, the routines and how it means that my life is wasted again. I thought it never gets me but I got stuck in the usual, the boring. The colour is grey in the sky every morning clouding my mind. The alarm deafens the silence. Progress in stagnation it never changes. Just feeds my frustration. I work a job which I’m loving not. To buy the things I don’t want to impress the people that I don’t give a shit about. This can’t be it, No. This ain’t living. Looking back in regret would be unforgiving. Had my share of useless hours before for now don’t want to stay here no more. So I better run. Don’t want to stay here no more. Break a window, sneak into the indoor of a stranger’s car. Tweak the wires, start the engine, light a cigar. Push the pedal to the metal. Don’t care where I go just far. Push it to the max, shift the stick to the fifth gear I pursuit in my dreams and not in my career. Leave my past behind like the landscape portrayed through the dust in the rear-view mirror. Next stop is the land of milk and honey. No time spent on thoughts of greed and money just water to whine, fresh from the grapevine. Get drunk like a monk, have a hell of a time. Still nothing new under the sun all under control can’t wait for my grave or till I’m old Don’t want to stay here no more. So I better run.
9.
I’m anxious to be stuck in these times where all the matters is written in black letters in your bank account. No way, I can’t cope to this outlook. Betray myself with the decisions that I took. To be part of this circus I keep running in circles. I’m cutting corners as much as I can. But the demand for the increase never seems to end. It turns your soul into something to sell. When it’s sold it turns cold as well, ‘til you’re gone. How much longer will this go on if too much is not enough? How much longer will this go on if too much is never enough? Strange things happening and now I feel so shallow. Can’t escape from the dubious footprints I follow. Born into the summit of world’s wealth distribution, aware of the unjust but I can’t find a way out or a better solution. There’s something foul in the wind and I got too much of it when I haled in. Now I stand aside ashamed to be part of this system. Overwhelmed like a victim or a slave to the rhythm of my income. Damn me for my critical thinking. I don’t get how I always end up with the same, lame old question? How much longer will this go on if too much is not enough? How much longer will this go on if too much is never enough?
10.
You while away your time in search of an alibi to justify you’re running late. Repress all the rest you planned for the day. You always use some good excuse to never blame yourself ‘til you get caught up in your life. Trouble’s never late to me really it’s no surprise now anymore. Not anymore. I could waste the days, the letdown’s laying heavy on my face but I better catch up with my life. Now leave that behind and find frontiers to wonder ‘bout to light up my life this time like back in the days when we got drunk ‘til we laugh the night away. The clouds that left your lips drizzled suspicions in my ears and ripped at my faith. I should have known better, man. Time will tell it once again, and patience is the trap that I got caught in with my life. Remember how the future looked so fabulous and innocent to us as kings of emptiness. We never seem to talk about that anymore. Guess we got caught up in our lives. Now leave that behind and find frontiers to wonder ‘bout to light up our lives this time like back in the days when we got drunk ‘til we laugh the night away.
11.
The cobblestones on the side of the road and that look in your face eats me alive. In the midst of the encircled few pretending they’re in control. But I won’t stay under their thumb. I’m unlikely to agree. Push the barricades. My heart riots, the sweat in my palms as the fires illume the night sky ruckus wild. Up high the cameras spy on all that will happen to us on the ground. They claim it’s save. Save like the shackles of these desolate days that we can’t escape. Tell me what’s wrong. I don’t need your permit to see that I discord. Out of sight ravenous sparks are sneaking up to incite. The tension’s itching on the seams right before the scene breaks wild. I’m ridden by gloom, pressured to oblige. Feeling cornered by frustrations so I’m blowing off steam. Consequences are moot cause they took all of my dreams. Feel that reluctance will choke until I collapse but I don’t mind if you dance on my grave when I’m dead. Take my chance now. Leave it all out there instead.
12.
Seek Up 04:01
Fading days. I took the bus out of town to get away. Left all behind, there’s just a bag by my side with sewed in future plans. Rain’s rolling in I count the drops landing on the window frame. Afraid of change but my eyes move and take a look outside. Seek up. My hope is on the rise. I don’t know if it lasts but for now I feel alive. So strange but beautiful. I don’t have clue. I’ve been running ever since I arrived at comfort zone cause if I wait for too long my passion’s gone. Fallacies keep fascinating me. Happy on the road but all I want is to get home. Seek up. My hope is on the rise. I don’t know if it lasts but for now I feel alive. So strange but beautiful. I don’t have clue. Do you? Seek up. My hope is on the rise. I don’t know if it lasts but for now I feel alive. So strange but beautiful. I don’t have clue. Do you?

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released May 4, 2012

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Hellkamp Hamburg, Germany

There is a myth circling around Hellkamp. A Myth around an impassable ghoststation in the urban heart of Hamburg, Germany. This spot serves as the spark and eponym of a band that catches the restlesness, noise, dirt and in contrast quiet moments of a vibrant metropolis with a blend of rock, americana, noise and powerpop. ... more

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